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Monday, May 28, 2012

Redefining Greatness

Hmm...so its the end of May. My last post was a month ago. An actual full month.  Every week I've thought "today I'll post" but I just haven't had it in me. So its confession time.  There seems to be a lot of that going on in the blogosphere lately (like here, here, and here).  Its pretty odd timing that this whole confession thing is happening.  It actually makes me a little angry since I've thought about writing this post for quite some time.  Since I never bothered to write it, now it seems like I'm just jumping on the pity party bandwagon. But one of the things I have to work on is to stop worrying about being the first to do something, to stop comparing my content to everyone else's, and to stop measuring everything I do against "better" blogs or for gods-sake projects on Pinterest.

I've been considering for several months now of shutting down Fairytale Frosting. Blogging is exhausting. I found that I stopped looking at the world in a joyful way.  I used to look at my baking, my crafts, and my other quirky activities as a fun way to pass time and hopefully end up with something beautiful. Instead I started looking at things like "how can I turn this into a blog post that will get me more readers." "How can I make this project even better than it is on Pinterest so that I can have a popular pin" I stopped having fun with my hobbies and started becoming critical of my work, always falling short of expectations.
I've been blogging for almost 3 years and I have about 114 followers. (Which I love love love you guys!) but in blog-land, that's a failure.  I actually had a company, with whom I wanted to partner with, tell me that they "did not have time for a blog like Fairytale Frosting".  And that was the nice part of the email.
I've had customers actually email argue with me about my pricing for goods such as my fondant toppers. One customer told me that my prices were far too high and my products were not "worthwhile". Anyone who sells handmade anything knows what a struggle it is to determine pricing.  Its hard not to second guess yourself when you have one negative thing after another. I know there is a saying about it being easier to believe the bad stuff, but the quote escapes me at the moment.

Between my own expectations and the handful of negative remarks I've gotten, its hard to stay motivated and enjoy the process.  So I've been neglecting it. I've cried over it. I've let people down over it. I haven't had it in me.  Who knew that a blog could be so exhausting?

With that said, I took some time off. For a few weeks I mostly just ignored that I even really had a blog. Then I started to back up some old photos, and was flipping through some of the work I've done in the last almost 3 years. And you know what....Toot Freakin Toot I'm quite proud of it.  Even with all of the imperfections.
I started to miss that feeling.  I missed creating things because it was fun. Its time I realigned my goals with myself.

I may not post regularly, my content will be varied, I may even share on subjects that aren't baking or craft related (gasp!) but everything I write about will be because it comes from my heart.  I vow now to write about things I enjoyed doing.  And you know what, if it doesn't get pinned on Pinterest, or never gets commented on, or never gains me any new readers....that's OK BY ME.  I do all of these crazy things because I like them. At the end of the day, that's what counts.

So, if you've managed to stick through this whole crazy post, thank you. If you've been following my blog here or Facebook or Twitter....THANK YOU. I am humbled and honored by that fact. I also apologize for ever letting the thought cross my mind that I needed "more" readers.

Today I start with a fresh look at blogging. Its no longer about being a popular blog.  Its exactly what it was meant to be from the beginning....a way for me to share about things I love. That may include crafts, desserts, cooking, my dogs, my home, or whatever may peak my interest at the time. I will no longer try to fit into the blog mold.  Someone out there has a better looking blog, wittier posts, or more creative content.  You know what, good for them. This, this is my space, to be my definition of great.  Which will not be determined by anyone else's standards but my own.

Stay tuned kids, I'm not going anywhere.